It’s funny how after a break up I always feel like I’m building a whole new life, not just rebuilding my broken heart. My new apartment is five miles from work, a quarter of the commute I was making before. Since I’m fairly familiar with this part of town, it isn’t that hard to find a new grocery store or learn my new neighborhood. The initial burst of girl friend support has come and gone (where my wonderful friends have tried very hard to make sure that I’m not left to my own devices too much to contemplate my return to single status) so I’m left to settle into a new routine.

I still seem to find myself waking up on Saturday mornings feeling that little tug that I should be doing something. Normal Saturdays when Rob was in town we would go for a long walk or find some other trouble to get into. Like climbing on his motorcycle and going for a ride. Now I wake up and realize that I don’t really have anything pressing to do or anywhere to be and I am trying to enjoy the luxury of all this free time, but I have to admit that sometimes I miss him. To have someone go from being such a big part of your life and your plans from the future to being someone that you aren’t speaking to at all is hard. (I’m afraid I’ve never been very good at the post break up “let’s be friends.”)

In all of the excitement of spending time with friends, the heart ache of not talking to Rob, and the settling into a new routine I find myself looking at my calendar thinking that something is missing. I’ve never been the greatest at keeping track of my cycle but it seems like it’s been a while, longer than it should be. I don’t think it’s been long enough for me to run out and buy a pregnancy test but it’s been long enough that a nagging voice in the back of my head says that if something doesn’t happen soon that day is just around the corner.