When my Mom arrived to pick me up I notice that she seemed pretty keyed up, even more than I would have expected. I was in the car for about fifteen minutes when I learned why. I had cousins in town (remember we had agreed to keep this pregnancy quiet so that my cousins struggling with infertility wouldn’t be hurt that I hadn’t chosen them) enjoying the beach for a week. My Mom had told them I was out of town for work, and late last night one of my cousins had been taken to the emergency room complaining of sharp pains. It would seem that Murphy’s Law was in full effect, fabulous!

I won’t get too off track with this whole cousin thing but my parents were spread pretty thin over the next few days trying to take care of me in the hospital and my adult cousins who were far from home and needing to be taken care of as well. I will say that it was a HUGE blessing that they were at a hospital near the beach, I was not. In the end it turned out my cousin had liver damage, the hospital here got him well enough to travel home and then later he ended up getting a liver transplant. I know that you are all caring and wonderful people and I wanted you to be completely in the loop!

I had a contraction checking Ben in at the vet, and it was amazing to see how much that expedited the process of getting him checked in! I felt a tug on my heart as they walked him away and I saw him look back at me with those big sad eyes. It was so hard to leave him because he didn’t understand what was happening, but I would be back soon. (The contraction hit just as I signed the last piece of paperwork and when I said I was in labor right then, I thought the very sweet girl that worked there was going to pass out!)

Once I got to the hospital, I was rather quickly put in a room where I changed into a gown and got hooked up to all the appropriate machinery, and now the waiting game began. My Mom’s best friend, Ruth, came to the hospital to wait with us. Occasionally a cell phone would ring, sometimes a nurse would come in and check on me to see how I was progressing, but other than that it was just a waiting game. We told stories, we laughed, but we were really just waiting. (Ruth, who I call my Aunt, had never had children so I don’t think any of us really knew what to expect.)

However these things happen in their own time. In time the dilation continued to occur, the contractions got to be more of what I expected. The Doctor came in that did my epidural and I made it a point not to look at the needle or move, even a tiny fraction of an inch, while he did what he had to do. What happened after the epidural is all kind of warm and fuzzy for me, I don’t remember feeling any pain but Dr.A was there urging me to push, while my Mom and Aunt Ruth stood on either side of me and encouraging as well! It wasn’t too long before I saw him for the first time, my almost nine pound son. He was whisked away and Ruth followed with the camera clicking away. (She had refrained from taking any labor pictures, something I am very grateful for.)

I am sure it was only moments later, but it seemed like an eternity, as I watched where the baby was and where Ruth was and waited for them to bring him to me. I was vaguely unaware of whatever mess had been made and whisked away by Dr.A and the nurses. I couldn’t tell you what my Mom was doing or saying, it seemed like everything else just fell away except for the squalling little boy that they cleaned up and then placed in my arms.

I don’t have the words to express what I felt in that moment, when he was in my arms for the first time. I checked and counted all of his fingers and his toes, and talked to him without really be aware of what I was saying. Mostly though I just held in my arms and thought he was absolutely the most beautiful perfect baby in the world. (Yes, I know all mothers think that but that’s because for all of us it’s 100% true.) I don’t know how long I held him but I was faintly aware of Aunt Ruth clicking away with the camera in the background. In time, the nurses brought me a bottle to try to feed him and I handed him off to my Mom for her to feed him. My arms and hands were shaking (I would later discover I had been given a little too much epidural as I couldn’t walk when it was time to change rooms!) but I watched like a hawk as my Mom fed, and held, and loved her beautiful grandson.

Looking back it seems like it happened really fast, like I checked into the hospital and moments later – there he was. However, I realize now it must’ve taken longer because sometime after that first bottle, when he had been passed around and hugged and loved by everyone in the room several times over, there was a knock at the door and there were Beth and John. (Enough time had passed for her to get an email and a phone call, get in touch with John, rearrange their travel plans and travel from the Midwest to the Gulf Coast!)

They entered the room tentatively, if ever there were people literally walking on eggshells, it was them! I smiled as big and brightly, as I was capable of and I held out the baby to them and said -

“I would like for you to meet your son, Michael.”

Beth immediately burst into tears as she reached her arms out to the baby with John peeking over her shoulder and Ruth, still vigilantly snapping pictures.

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