Posts Tagged ‘adoptive parent support’

I remember a string of emails that went back and forth between myself and Beth, that particular string stands out above all the others to me, because in them I gave her my (and Rob’s) “rap sheets.” I told her every genetic flaw, bad habit, potential pitfall, that I thought my son could ever face. I was scared that Beth was going to change her mind and not want to risk opening her heart to a child that could be less than perfect, but she thoughtfully and lovingly put my mind at ease. In retrospect I suppose it seems kind of silly, there are people who open their homes and hearts to all sorts of imperfect children, and I was worried that asthma and cat allergies were going to be the straw that broke the camel’s back and send Beth packing. As a Birthmother that was my worst nightmare.

Those emails have been on my mind alot lately, especially in the face of the Mother in Tennessee who put her Russian “son” on a plane back to Russia alone. She packed a bag, arranged for car service in Russia, and pinned a note explaining that she was returning him and an international incident exploded, Russian adoptions between the US are still “suspended.” I have to admit that what I’ve read about this story has caused me to shed many tears, and think back on old, unfounded, fears.

I don’t have any first hand experience with the adoptive parents side of things, and now I’m wondering – are there support systems for adoptive parents? Places that people can go or turn to if they feel like they’re in over their head? Do adoptive parents get over their head? Sometimes do adoptive parents have no choice but to give the child back?

I have a cousin with two daughters from China and she seems to have a thriving support system. There’s a network of other families with babies adopted from China and apparently there are some Chinese people that are even teaching her daughters about the language and custom of their homeland. Her daughters are beautiful, bright, and seem very happy. I have a friend who has a son with Down’s Syndrome and I know that she is part of a support group that she feels is indispensable. Is it just in the area of Russian adoption that there’s a big hole for providing support for adoptive parents? Or is this not even a real issue? Was this particular instance just a fluke?