Posts Tagged ‘Doctors’
The wisdom and advice of my parents settled in over the next few days. Monday morning I called Dr.A’s office first thing, as I promised my Dad I would. Dr.A was recommended to me by a friend who had a very difficult pregnancy, I thought it boded well that he was able to get her and her baby through her pregnancy despite all the complications.
The receptionist seemed friendly enough as she asked for the usual information – name, date of birth, contact info and then she asked the question that probably got her more than she bargained for – “insurance?”
“Well, I don’t have any insurance, but I’m placing my baby for adoption and I’ll be working with an attorney, but I haven’t met with her yet, so for now I guess I’m a self-pay patient.”
My long answer was greeted with silence, and then after a pregnant pause, I was asked to hold for a moment. I felt a little confused, I couldn’t imagine what I had said to get this reaction.
“Ma’am?” the voice said.
“Yes,” I answered.
“There will be no charge for your first visit, we’ll work all of that out later when you chose your attorney.” She said.
My eyes unexpectedly welled with tears at the gesture. I thanked her, hardly able to keep the emotion out of my voice, as I wrote down the date and time for my appointment.
After careful consideration, I decided that while I was feeling a little drunk on the milk of human kindness and I had a doctor’s appointment, it was time to tell my boss about my pregnancy. The company I worked for was a small marketing company, there were ten of us in all. I was comfortably in the middle of the food chain, reporting directly to the president of the company with three designers underneath me. It often felt like we were a little, somewhat dysfunctional family, rather than coworkers.
I knocked on Cathy’s door, even though it was open. My boss and mentor, gestured me to sit in a chair in her office while she finished a call. Her eyebrows raised when I closed the door behind me.
“What can I do for you?” Cathy asked, smiling warmly after she had hung the phone up.
“Well Cathy, as you know Rob and I broke up, our relationship is done.” She nodded in agreement, her dark eyes were confused. I very rarely brought my personal problems to work.
“It would seem that there’s a little unfinished business,” I said and now her entire expression reflected confusion, “I’m pregnant and I’m planning on placing the child for adoption.”
“How far along are you?” she asked and I was shocked at how expressionless her face was suddenly.
“About 12 weeks,” I said. I wondered if my voice sounded as confused as I felt. She nodded. “I have a doctor’s appointment on Thursday so I’ll be in a little late.”
She nodded again. There was an awkward silence, and so I stood up to leave. My hand was on the door knob when she called out to me.
“Joy,” she said and I turned to look at her, “you will never be able to go through with this.” she said and looked down at the papers on her desk.
The warmth I felt after talking to the doctor’s office was replaced by dozens of emotions crashing over me. One minute I was angry, then I was sad, then I was hurt, then I was scared. I admired Cathy, we had worked together for several years, how could she say that to me. I felt like I had been standing there for a long time, searching for something to say, but instead I just left her office. I just didn’t know what to say.
On my way back to my office, I stopped by the receptionist and had her block the extra time off in the book on Thursday, but I didn’t tell her why. My strength had left me for today, I decided to save the rest of my coworkers for later.