Posts Tagged ‘rights’

I have missed two Tuesdays of my “Tuesday Topics” because I had delusions of grandeur, I’m sorry. I got this really great question emailed to me:

How did you know what the laws were and what your rights were in regards to adoption?

Short, simple to the point – right? So what took so long to answer? Well sometimes I take the long and hard road to get where I need to go. That was sadly the case with this question.

I started by talking about the laws that were in effect during my pregnancy, and then I realized that they had changed. I started trying to update that information and then I realized those laws only apply to the State of Florida – the laws vary from state to state. (this is where the delusions of grandeur crept in…) Then I tried to expand my post to include laws from other states, to make it a comprehensive resource. Of course, I realized not only do the laws vary from state to state but they also change on a regular basis. I didn’t want to put bad information out there.

I also tried to work my “day job” and do this “have a life” thing…surely you can see how this spiraled out of control. I’m not making excuses, it’s just sometimes I don’t always take the best path.

So, let’s try this again, here’s the question I got asked -

How did you know what the laws were and what your rights were in regards to adoption?

First and foremost, I asked questions, ALOT of questions. I didn’t know everything about adoption then, I certainly don’t now. It is 110% okay to ask questions, and I don’t know any adoption professional that wouldn’t be receptive to answering questions.You may not always get the answers you are hoping for, but you don’t know if you don’t ask.

I also relied on someone else to help ask questions, my Mom. The first time I met with Mary, my Mom was there to make sure that I didn’t forget anything and to offer her insight and perspective. It’s so easy to get overwhelmed, there’s alot of emotions involved. It’s okay to ask a parent, close friend, etc. to be involved to make sure that you don’t forget anything.

Generally speaking there are also provisions made in most States for legal counsel to be provided for birthparents. I admit that I didn’t really take advantage of that, because even though the option was available to me – I felt comfortable with the adoption professionals I chose to work with. (I never, at any point in time, felt like anyone from the Attorney’s office to the actual Adoptive parents had anything but my best interests at heart.)

I guess all of that is the long drawn out way of saying the old adage is true – you can never ask a stupid question! So ask!